Dallas' cornucopia of neighborhoods has something for everyone, unless you are the Powers That Be. East Dallas residents have irked these powers for decades on a number of issues, from tawdry toll roads to inauspicious Applebees. The conflict between Dallas' version of blue bloods and East Dallas upstarts seems to be coming to a head.
Dallas Citizens Circle Sergeant at Arms Lincoln Paisley is "Just super annoyed" with East Dallas, he recently stated in an interview at Dallas' most exclusive and poorly lit steakhouse. "Why can't they just let us do what we used to do back in the day? It seemed to work out ok for everybody."
Dallasites who have experienced decades of racist housing policies, subpar school systems, and a historic lack of quality green space disagree, and often make themselves heard.
In reference to the infamous Trinity Toll Road, Paisley complained, "I don't know why all these East Dallas are trying to keep the good people of Grapevine and Las Colinas from getting downtown quickly and efficiently. So what if the highway ruins the city's greatest natural asset and reason for existing?"
"What is the deal with every two or three blocks needing a conservation district or architectural overlay?" Paisely complained. "It makes it hard for developers like me to put ominous and inauthentic townhomes in neighborhoods with historical protection."
"And how am I supposed to know whether a restaurant is any good if it isn't a national chain? If I can't order what your restaurant has on a highway outside of Tulsa, I don't want to order anything at all. Don't people know you can't make any money if you only have one location of something?"
When asked about park space, Paisley lamented, "Why can't these people in East Dallas just be happy with looking at a couple golf courses? That's all the green space we need where I come from. It's green, but all wild plant and animal life has been carefully curated to remove anything wild. No one wants to see a coyote trot across a yard of the month, I can tell you that."
East Dallas is also known for its voter turnout and community involvement, which didn't please Paisley either. "Things work better when these folks just stay out of our way. We know what is best for Dallas. Let us handle the mayor, the city council, and provide 'Focused Leadership for Future Impact,' as we say. All the research on candidates and voting really irks me."
Paisley left with some final thoughts. "The thing I really don't understand is how these East Dallas folks can send their kids to public schools. It is almost as if they embrace the diversity, instead of run from like they did in my day. Why do you think we had all these private schools pop up after desegregation finally made it to Dallas? These East Dallas folks are ruining all our hard work."