Restaurants all over East Dallas are plagued by children being children. These young people almost never use their inside voices, get out of their seats, and even spill drinks on tables. Parents, on their rare night out of the house, neglect to patrol their restless children for every second of dinner, and the misbehavior ruins childless diners' chips and queso.
Thankfully, a ray of light has penetrated the depths of the sea of poor parenting. Neighborhood toddlers Cherubim and Sarofim Grace recently dined on the patio at Cane Rosso without incident, where so many of their predecessors have marauded their way through fountains and Neapolitan pizza alike.
Though the little ones have a vocabulary of only 200 words, they ordered a PG-13-named off-menu pizza and paired it nicely with a salad and sparkling apple juice. The two quietly conversed at the table while taking their meal, with little to no spillage.
Their waiter for the evening, Ina Hurrie, was flabbergasted by the Grace's manners. "They always either said or used baby sign language to say please and thank you. Their choices were sophisticated but not extravagant."
A neighboring family, the Lowders, who have three kids of their own, were also shocked by the Grace's behavior. "My little ones haven't even moved past Sippy cups and Tupperware, and they definitely can't eat pizza with silverware."
The Grace toddlers haven't figured out where they would like to dine next, but have indicated that they won't be caught dead at any restaurant with a giant sand pit.